Days 13/14 - Niagara Falls

 So my alarm goes off at 5.55am, and I feel like this is a massive mistake. However a shower and two coffees down, I decide I'll give the early start a try, and we went to hunt down the coach to Niagara Falls.

Having successfully located the tour guide, we set about navigating the minefield that was extremely broken English. Alesha, the small Chinese lady who would be taking us on the 900+ mile trip, seemed nice enough,  and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

This was a huge mistake. She was completely nuts, and it would be no over-exaggeration to suggest she was a megalomaniac (ok maybe a little harsh). Here is a rundown of some of the crazy things said throughout the two-day trip:

- upon stopping at a McDonald's: 'maybe one person buy food' (there were 50+ on the coach). 'Rest go bathroom. Single file. 10 MINUTES ONLY. BE BACK HERE 10 MINUTES!'

- 'no drink water on bus, we no stop for next four hours'

- 'no go to bathroom on bus. Make bad perfume'

- at Niagara Falls, taking an elevator down to a boat ride: 'take elevator now. No stop for photos. Then food court. Save time. Take elevator, NOW!'

- 'We have a tour to Martha's Vineyard. We see Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger ... Rich celebrities. Well we don't meet them, we just dive past, but we wave and shout 'Obama!''

And there were many more where that came from. Jack and I were also fairly perturbed by her lack of awareness of general safety - nothing about emergency exits, seat belts etc. I don't want to sound like an old woman and complain, but she was a deadly combination of plain crazy, incompetence and disorganisation. It made for a fun trip.

When we eventually arrived at the falls we were exhausted, but got to take in the night view from the American side. It's funny because I can't imagine Brits using flashing lights to illuminate their sites of natural beauty, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

The next morning we went back for the day view of the falls, then took a boat ride to the falls and got a view from the Canadian side. The boat ride was hilarious because it became a mêlée of tourists in ponchos fighting for the best photo vantage point. We decided to give as good as we got, taking advantage of the nicer members of the group by shoving past them to get to the railings. Still, got some cracking photos.

On the way there the previous day, we stopped at some strange attractions, including a glass factory and an 'old' fort. Thankfully on the way back we only stopped for bathroom breaks, though it still was over eight hours.

Tomorrow we are getting on yet another coach, but this time for Washington, D.C.! And there will be no tour guide, so I'm cautiously optimistic...