Days 27/28/29 - Florida: Sea World, the Everglades, Kennedy Space Centre

From North Carolina we flew down to Orlando, and having gotten up at 5.30am, I don't have to explain how intensely foul my mood was. A few coffees later and I think my company was probably bearable (ask jack) but this soon faded as we missed our bus from the airport. A few hours later however, having dropped bags off at the hotel and eaten copious amounts of pizza, we were on our way to Sea World.

Sea World is really great, not just because its ok to act like a child there, but also because - like every 'Brit abroad' in Florida - I unashamedly love roller coasters. In fact the first thing we did was ride the two biggest attractions, and I thoroughly enjoyed screaming and shouting profanities whilst doing so. Various other highlights included seeing turtles, manatees, a polar bear and dolphin feeding.

The next morning brought with it a thunder storm, which highlighted that Orlando is completely dependent on good weather - everything stops during thunder storms. So we waited it out like any good Brits would - in McDonald's. However the afternoon brightened up and hit temperatures around 80 degrees Fahrenheit, so we finished off the rest of Sea World. And this could only mean one thing - Shamu. 

The Shamu show is like a Floridian institution; take five killer wales, teach them to dance to music, add strobe lightening and water features, and you've got yourself a show. I mean, I like sea life as much as the next person, but you really have to question why you are clapping along to a choreographed routine of a wale dancing to what sounds like the 'High School Musical' soundtrack...

Still, the rest of the afternoon was a lot of fun, even including getting soaked to the bone on a water ride (and realising the canvas shoes I wore act in a similar way to a bucket,   keeping in as much water as possible...). We did actually make a bit of a cock-up in deciding to queue for two hours - TWO HOURS - to see some penguins. Granted we weren't to know that's all the ride was but it was still crazy, and made exponentially worse by our decision to buy whole turkey legs for lunch, thus having children point at us and ask their horrified parents 'what are they eating mummy?!'. Similarly the evening was defined by food, but this was much better because we hit a steak house with the best steak I've had so far in the US. 

I'm currently writing this on the way back from the Kennedy Space Centre, where we spent this afternoon being reminded of how advanced the Americans are with space travel (notwithstanding the discontinuation of space missions from Florida...). It was a fun day, and I especially enjoyed the space launch simulator, which pretty much is what it says - puts you through the forces experienced by an astronaut throughout liftoff. Oh, and the Angry Birds attraction... That was brilliant (if wholly inappropriate if unaccompanied by a child).

Something I forgot to mention was that this morning, as part of the tour, we were taken to the Everglades for a propeller boat ride. The idea was that we would see some alligators, however this plan was  ill conceived  due to the massive thunderstorm and torrential rain that ensued whilst we were on the water. One ripped poncho later, lets just say I had little time for the tour leader's jokes about the 'sunshine state'... Hope he isn't expecting a tip...

Days 23/24/25/26 - Asheville, Chimney Rock, Lake Lure, Grandfather Mountain

It's been a few days since my last post, simply because we've been doing so much and taking advantage of staying in the Appalachian mountains. It's quite difficult to describe how awesome it is being on top of a 5000ft/1 mile high mountain, so I'll do my best but will intersperse with photos...

On Friday we made our way here from Raleigh, and stopped after an hour to visit the campus of Dan's old university, High Point. It really put Exeter to shame with its appearance and facilities - red brick buildings with columns and domed roofs; outdoor swimming pools with pool houses and huge cushion seats; a brand new campus arcade, with concierge service; and best of all, white rocking chairs laid out around the campus for time to relax and 'postulate'... It was certainly different to what we poor students in the UK are used to.

On we went to our lodge at Craggy View, in the heart of the mountains, which was about 10 miles from the nearest city of Asheville. We spent the evening in Asheville, which was great but also bizarre, as it exists as a throwback to the hippy era, in the middle of what is considered to be a southern state. This was great for our purposes because it has a reputation for local beer and local music. Both of these we experienced with high degrees of success, including trying local fruit beers and listening to a gypsy jazz band. Both were very original experiences, but the best part of the evening came at the end - the group split up to get taxis back, and upon arriving back first, our taxi group decided to wait in the pitch black and try to frighten the others when they got back. This backfired slightly, as Dan pretended to act like a bear, making noises and disturbances, whereupon my uncle thought the best tactic to counter a bear attack was to get into a fistfight with it. Unfortunately said bear was his son. Still, 'Mike the Bear Hunter' was born that day (my uncle, not me; same name).

The next morning we were set for a day of hiking, and drove to Chimney Rock where we walked for a few hours up to the peak of that part of the mountain, about 2500ft up. Whilst the view was spectacular, it was somewhat overshadowed by my wheezing and profuse sweating, limiting to a large degree acceptable photo opportunities for me. Despite this, it was pretty awesome to look out at the mountain region and the horizon for miles and miles. I was even emboldened by overcoming my minor unease at heights, until it was pointed out to me that there was an increased danger of 'injury and death' by straying off the paths...

That evening we stayed at the lodge, though thankfully the bear hunter was not required to jump into action. 

The next morning we decided to try kayaking on Lake Lure. Unfortunately this is where the bear hunter amongst us met his match; within a minute of paddling out, his boat upturned and he arose from the lake sodden and red-faced. Although he maintains it was a deliberate ploy to show us all the importance of safety on the lake, the legend of the 'Bear Hunter' was quickly replaced with 'Drippy'.

Jack and I took a double kayak out, and frankly Jack got the short straw. Not only was it my first attempt at this, I also had a mental block with rowing in the right direction and being able to row in tandem. The result of this was that Jack ended up sodden from my technique of flailing-come-rowing, and frustrated at my inability to steer away from on-coming objects/boats/ tree branches. I had great fun though, and pictures from my disposable camera will follow at some point in the future.

Once we dried off, we decided to sit by the lake for a while and enjoy the rest of the afternoon sun. Being by the lake was opportune for photos, and  we were serenaded by a bizarre mix of a guy playing the didgeridoo, and some far-off bells in the distance playing 'God Save the Queen'. If I failed to understand the south before this point, the feeling is now compounded even further.

I forgot to mention that in the morning of kayak-gate we decided to go and check out what was described as 'mountain games' (think a take on Highland games). We didn't actually get to see any of the games, but here's a photo of me in a hammock.

The evening passed with beer- related fun, and after well-earned sleep we started our last day in the mountains with an excursion to some falls in a place called Linville. Whilst not particularly notable, save for the falls that run through the mountains there, Linville was home to a disproportionate amount of churches. In fact on the drive there, we estimated we saw a church at least every couple of miles, to the degree that in some places it seemed like there were more churches than houses... Mountain folk...

The most spectacular part of the trip was what came this afternoon. I'd been really taken aback by the scenery at Chimney Rock, and I didn't think it could be beaten. However Grandfather Mountain is double the hight, and it is so high you are given a warning at the beginning about the possibility of altitude sickness. The view is incredible, but to get there you have to cross the 'mile-high' suspension bridge, which is really rickety, especially with the wind at such a height. My quip that we must now be members of the mile high club was met with unimpressed consternation. 

Also at Grandfather Mountain was a bear enclosure, where we saw a brown and a black bear, both of which were captivating to watch. So much so that my phone memory is pretty much full thanks to the 50+ photos and videos I took of them... Also next to the enclosure were some bald eagles, mountain cougars and otters. I was most disappointed by the otters; I assumed they would put on a show, and although there had been rumours there was going to be a civil war re-enactment, we were met simply with the otters' unimpressed yawns. (The civil war reference was down to a sarcastic quip I made regarding the otters' inactivity. Whilst it was an insolent comment, I had just had coffee and was in the mood to be entertained).

Next up for us tomorrow is Orlando, Florida. This week in North Carolina has been amazing, and we have seen and done many things we wouldn't have been able to do normally. Special thanks to Dan, Molly and the rest of my family we've been with for being so generous, and for letting us tag along with them. Thankfully we've learnt some key skills during this trip:

-  how to tackle a bear, 

- how to escape a capsizing kayak 

- and knowing when to demand more from an otter. 

Days 20/21/22 - North Carolina

So tomorrow we are heading for the mountains and I thought I'd share a quick update on what's been going on over the last few days. As it has been brought to my attention that simply saying that I'm staying with 'relatives' is perhaps a little impersonal, I'll explain further; we've been staying with my English cousin Dan, who lives over here with his American wife Molly. They also have a really great dog called Winston, who is amusingly so named after the former British Prime Minister (Dan is a history graduate and proud Englishman...).

Our days have been really relaxing so far, exploring the local area/mostly getting lost. Actually that may be doing us a bit of a disservice, as we've successfully located the nearest 'Wendys' and pizzeria (naturally). Jack and I have also revelled in our roles as dog walkers, even deciding as fairly as possible to apportion poop-scooping duties by flipping a coin...

We also spent a day at the mall, which was an interesting experience because of the sheer size of the place. Malls are definitely a reference point for us in American culture, and to be honest it was kind of like a mini city, with very kind of shop you could think of. 

And the food court. God, the food court. I think it is safe to say I could never live here, as my ballooning waistline will testify...

One recurring theme of this part of the trip has been the food. Dan and Molly have introduced us to some 'proper' southern American food, including 'hush puppies', a fried dough-ball with corn, and (to my initial dismay) BBQ baked beans. Now, as you can imagine this became a major taking point - tomato vs BBQ sauce (not quite Rowe v Wade but still...). Jack is now a convert ( revelling in his apparent new role of 'bean connoisseur') however I am on the fence, still somewhat reticent about the merits of this kin of 'fusion' food. For me, the re-fried beans we ate at a local Mexican restaurant were more successful, but the debate continues.

As I said tomorrow we are heading to the mountains for a long weekend, along with reinforcements from the UK in the form of more of my family. Also fun fact - parts of 'The Hunger Games', 'The Last of the Mohicans' and 'Dirty Dancing' were filmed in the place we are staying (Asheville). I'll be keeping my eye out for the cornucopia...

Days 18/19 - falls at Potomac/greyhound to Raleigh NC

 We started our last full day in DC by getting horribly lost after breakfast. However having found a metro stop, an hour later than intended, we went to meet a family friend who lives in Maryland. We spent the rest of the morning trekking along the Potomac river, ending at some falls which separate Maryland from Virginia. The afternoon was defined by drinking, chicken wings and the Zoo. A fun time was had by all, and the drinking continued on into the evening...

This was perhaps a mistake, due to the fact we were taking a six hour coach journey to Raleigh, North Carolina the next day. However I was completely hangover-free, and looking forward to taking the trip. Little did I know that we would almost miss the bus, hailing it down on the street as it attempted to leave us stranded in the coach station (relying on a stranger to make it stop in the end...). Not did we realise that we would be stopping over in Richmond, Virginia, for two hours, or quite how many strange people would be just hanging around the station there. Other than asking for money, no one really bothered us, but we nonetheless retreated to the café to skulk in corner armed with a cappuccino and hot dog...

In fairness when we got back on the coach the journey was also ok, and we're now spending the next few days relaxing with family in North Carolina. It seems very suburban, and although this isn't the 'Deep South', we've already seen several 'pro- life' car bumper stickers...

This weekend we are heading the the Appalachian mountains for some hiking, which I'm really looking forward to despite the fact that the only shoes I have are flip flops and canvas... 

Days 15/16/17 - Greyhound to Washington, D.C., the White House and the Smithsonian

After 10 hours of sleep, I woke up to the overwhelming thought of 'please don't make me get back on a coach'. Seeing as that wasn't an option, we begrudgingly took the subway and eventually found the right station, getting slightly lost in the process. To cut a short and boring story even shorter, the greyhound journey was long, and little of note occurred.

The evening was spent enjoying the extended happy hour(s) of a Thai restaurant/bar, and allowing drink-induced sleep to take over upon arriving at the hostel.

The following morning was pretty lazy, but in the afternoon we sought out the mall of America and saw the sights of Washington, D.C. This included congress, the Lincoln memorial, the Supreme Court and the White House. I don't want to sound facetious but they are all quite a lot smaller than in photos or on tv, and whilst it was certainly worth going, it was all a little underwhelming. 

DC has been a bit weird actually because we've come straight from New York, where there is something to do at any time of day or night, and it's easy to find things to suit any budget. Here it is easy to get around, and although there is a lot of free things to do, there is little variety. I guess it's also a bit weird  because I ran out of clean clothes and had to wear my Li'l Sebastian tshirt to a WW2 memorial, and as a result loads of people were staring at me (and rightly so...).

Whilst yesterday was scorching hot, today was quite rainy, so we took the opportunity to visit some of the smithsonian institute attractions, which were mainly museums. Whilst enjoyable they were again a little underwhelming, but maybe that's because I have a terrible attention span and require all museums to be 90% interactive or IMAX-related. 

This evening has fared better, having visited a diner that only sells variations on chili con carne. What is also a bit odd is that no one at the hostel socialises. Where we have been previously in Boston and New York, there has been no shortage of people willing to give anything a try, whereas here the people are nice, but aren't interested in going for drinks or exploring a new part of the city. Still, this may result in jack and I going to see the new Star Trek film this evening, so my inner nerd is satisfied...

Days 13/14 - Niagara Falls

 So my alarm goes off at 5.55am, and I feel like this is a massive mistake. However a shower and two coffees down, I decide I'll give the early start a try, and we went to hunt down the coach to Niagara Falls.

Having successfully located the tour guide, we set about navigating the minefield that was extremely broken English. Alesha, the small Chinese lady who would be taking us on the 900+ mile trip, seemed nice enough,  and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

This was a huge mistake. She was completely nuts, and it would be no over-exaggeration to suggest she was a megalomaniac (ok maybe a little harsh). Here is a rundown of some of the crazy things said throughout the two-day trip:

- upon stopping at a McDonald's: 'maybe one person buy food' (there were 50+ on the coach). 'Rest go bathroom. Single file. 10 MINUTES ONLY. BE BACK HERE 10 MINUTES!'

- 'no drink water on bus, we no stop for next four hours'

- 'no go to bathroom on bus. Make bad perfume'

- at Niagara Falls, taking an elevator down to a boat ride: 'take elevator now. No stop for photos. Then food court. Save time. Take elevator, NOW!'

- 'We have a tour to Martha's Vineyard. We see Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger ... Rich celebrities. Well we don't meet them, we just dive past, but we wave and shout 'Obama!''

And there were many more where that came from. Jack and I were also fairly perturbed by her lack of awareness of general safety - nothing about emergency exits, seat belts etc. I don't want to sound like an old woman and complain, but she was a deadly combination of plain crazy, incompetence and disorganisation. It made for a fun trip.

When we eventually arrived at the falls we were exhausted, but got to take in the night view from the American side. It's funny because I can't imagine Brits using flashing lights to illuminate their sites of natural beauty, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

The next morning we went back for the day view of the falls, then took a boat ride to the falls and got a view from the Canadian side. The boat ride was hilarious because it became a mêlée of tourists in ponchos fighting for the best photo vantage point. We decided to give as good as we got, taking advantage of the nicer members of the group by shoving past them to get to the railings. Still, got some cracking photos.

On the way there the previous day, we stopped at some strange attractions, including a glass factory and an 'old' fort. Thankfully on the way back we only stopped for bathroom breaks, though it still was over eight hours.

Tomorrow we are getting on yet another coach, but this time for Washington, D.C.! And there will be no tour guide, so I'm cautiously optimistic...

Days 13/14 - Niagara Falls

 So my alarm goes off at 5.55am, and I feel like this is a massive mistake. However a shower and two coffees down, I decide I'll give the early start a try, and we went to hunt down the coach to Niagara Falls.

Having successfully located the tour guide, we set about navigating the minefield that was extremely broken English. Alesha, the small Chinese lady who would be taking us on the 900+ mile trip, seemed nice enough,  and I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

This was a huge mistake. She was completely nuts, and it would be no over-exaggeration to suggest she was a megalomaniac (ok maybe a little harsh). Here is a rundown of some of the crazy things said throughout the two-day trip:

- upon stopping at a McDonald's: 'maybe one person buy food' (there were 50+ on the coach). 'Rest go bathroom. Single file. 10 MINUTES ONLY. BE BACK HERE 10 MINUTES!'

- 'no drink water on bus, we no stop for next four hours'

- 'no go to bathroom on bus. Make bad perfume'

- at Niagara Falls, taking an elevator down to a boat ride: 'take elevator now. No stop for photos. Then food court. Save time. Take elevator, NOW!'

- 'We have a tour to Martha's Vineyard. We see Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger ... Rich celebrities. Well we don't meet them, we just dive past, but we wave and shout 'Obama!''

And there were many more where that came from. Jack and I were also fairly perturbed by her lack of awareness of general safety - nothing about emergency exits, seat belts etc. I don't want to sound like an old woman and complain, but she was a deadly combination of plain crazy, incompetence and disorganisation. It made for a fun trip.

When we eventually arrived at the falls we were exhausted, but got to take in the night view from the American side. It's funny because I can't imagine Brits using flashing lights to illuminate their sites of natural beauty, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

The next morning we went back for the day view of the falls, then took a boat ride to the falls and got a view from the Canadian side. The boat ride was hilarious because it became a mêlée of tourists in ponchos fighting for the best photo vantage point. We decided to give as good as we got, taking advantage of the nicer members of the group by shoving past them to get to the railings. Still, got some cracking photos.

On the way there the previous day, we stopped at some strange attractions, including a glass factory and an 'old' fort. Thankfully on the way back we only stopped for bathroom breaks, though it still was over eight hours.

Tomorrow we are getting on yet another coach, but this time for Washington, D.C.! And there will be no tour guide, so I'm cautiously optimistic...

Days 11/12 - Statue of Liberty, 9/11 memorial, Top of the Rock/NBC studios

So we got up early on Sunday to get admission tickets for the 9/11 memorial, but it was closed so we ate breakfast. That sentence ended far less poignantly than it began... We then took a boat cruise around the island of Manhattan. This lasted for almost three hours, and allowed us to see the Statue of Liberty up close, as well as the Brooklyn bridge, Staten Island and the UN buildings on the bank of the Charles river. Afterwards we thought we'd check out Wall Street, but it was so disinteresting I won't elaborate further.

Our evening was less successful for three reasons: we accidentally stood up an Italian guy we met earlier in the week for drinks; we went to see an improvised comedy evening, which was worse than terrible; and finally, when we got back to our room, we discovered that we were horribly burnt from our 'day at sea'. We were on the water for three hours. It wasn't sunny. It paints a pathetically English picture.

Luckily today was great, and was probably my favourite day in New York. We started with the 9/11 memorial, which was as it should be - tasteful, and not over the top. It was strange to see such an iconic location of the 21st century up close, but certainly worthwhile.

We used out last city passes to get to the Top of the Rock - the Rockefeller centre, which dominates a large part of the manhattan skyline and is also where NBC is based. The views of New York in the day differ to those we saw from the Empire State Building during the night, and if anything they were even more impressive, seeing Central Park as an island in the middle of a true metropolis. 

The most exciting of the days events came at NBC studios. Firstly we spent the best part of an hour in the NBC store, where I behaved (again) like a child by decreeing I wanted to buy one of everything in the store (and threatening to have a tantrum when told otherwise...). I did purchase a 'Lil Sebastian' t-shirt, from the show 'Parks and Rec', which has practically made my trip; apparently jack has 'never seen me smile as much in my life', as I put it on (and danced with glee...).

I then took a tour of NBC studios, and got to see sets for 'Saturday Night Live' and 'The Late Show'. I also got to see the control and transmission rooms, which were probably more impressive due to the sheer amount of work and equipment that go into editing and broadcasting a network of shows. 

This evening we were invited out by some people from the hostel, but seeing as we are getting up at 6am (6am!) for an 8 hour (8 hour!) journey to Niagara Falls, we figured it wouldn't be such a wise move.

However, my next post could be from Canada, so silver lining...?

Days 8/9/10 - MoMA, Empire State Building, DBLCAM, Seinfeld diner

So our time in New York had this far been characterised by extreme weather, which started with Monday morning, aka The Great New York Flood of 2013. Or something like that... Anyway, we thought it would be a good idea to walk about 20 minutes in the teeming rain to find a place for breakfast. I had no umbrella, and after about 2 minutes my clothes had become a saturated second skin. The breakfast was good though...

After a change of clothes at the hostel, we headed to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), full of cynicism and contempt for 'art', but we left converted (maybe). In all seriousness I really enjoyed it - the museum was dedicated to multi-sensory forms of art, which included clips from 'The Sims 2000', a video of an elephant unable to get up again (having been pushed to the ground) and some original Warhol pop-art.

The plan for the evening was to head to 'the best club in New York' (according to the impartial hostel activity planner - no incentives on his part I'm sure). However I had shrimp for dinner, was repeatedly ill when we got back and remained bed-bound and feeling sorry for myself for the remainder of the evening. Boo.

 

The next morning brought relief in the form of coffee and a giant pretzel, which remarkably stayed down, so on we went to the Natural History Museum. This brought out the inner child in me, and although I won't go into detail on the exhibitions, there were two space attractions narrated by Liam Neeson and Whoopie Goldberg (!). This, and really cool dinosaurs (yes I have now actually regressed back to childhood) were highlights.

We used the evening to take in some of the more well-known areas of New York, like Times Square, which is completely insane but great. Half-naked street performers, billboards as far as the eye can see, bat-shit crazy taxi drivers and... Well more naked people. We ate dinner at Planet Hollywood (got a picture of a costume from 'The Termintor' that was stored there) and then, when it got really dark, we made our way up to the top floor observatory of the Empire State Building. 

We were recommended the night viewing slot and it really was incredible - views of thousands of lit-up buildings for miles, Central Park and the Brooklyn bridge. Oh, and the GE Tower (for 30 Rock fans). Whilst the view was impressive, the conditions definitely were not; the beginning of a storm brought what felt like gale force winds, threatening all iPhone owners with heartbreak (sidebar - there were loads of people with iPads and tablets, taking pictures from 100s of feet up. I think it's odd). 

We spent the rest of the evening getting back to the hostel. I spent most of it nervously looking over my shoulder and trying to 'blend in' as we rode unaware into the depths of Harlem, having taken the wrong train...

Today has been fun too. We checked out/got horribly lost in Central Park, and visited another museum (Museum of Metropolitan Art). Although jack a I agree it was our least favourite, it gave us ample opportunity to show off our immaturity and maximise the use of 'DBLCAM' (double cam). It's an app I have on my iPhone which allows you to take a picture using both front and back cameras simultaneously. So you can take a photo of an object, and your reaction. For any sensible person, this is a handy app. For us, it has been an amusing tool to be as childish as possible, pulling either stupid or serious faces, alongside an amusing artefact, and then unilaterally deciding it must be funny (regardless of whether it is or not), based solely on the fact it was taken with double cam. Slideshow to follow soon.

This evening we ate at Teds Restaurant, which is where many scenes of the show 'Seinfeld' were shot. I must confess I have only watched handful of episodes, but figured it would be a fun, stereotypical American diner experience. And it was. Eventually... As we took the wrong subway, and then realised we should never have taken the subway at all. But then we got Pinkberry after, and it was great.

Tomorrow a boat tour of the Statue of Liberty awaits, as does the inevitable sea-sickness that will undoubtedly accompany it...

 

Days 6/7 - goodbye Boston, hello New York/Greyhound

We spent our last full day in Boston enjoying the sun and visiting a couple of places we hadn't seen. This included bunker hill, which is a park with a monument around 300 steps hi (I know because we climbed every one of them...). The view is pretty impressive at the top, but my profuse sweating and breathing like a fat kid chasing after an ice cream van was less than appealing...

We spent the rest of the evening in 'Little Italy', where we ate obscene amounts of Italian food. Having been unable to attend drinks with a few others at the hostel as planned, we called it a night in preparation for the trip to New York in the morning.

Although it is sad to be leaving Boston, I think a week has been enough to see the sights and also meet a bunch of new people. What's nice about the city is that everyone is friendly and chatty, and we've already met people who we'll meet up with on future legs of the trip, which is cool. 

So onwards to New York, and I admit this is the place I've been most looking forward to for this whole trip. There's so much I'm excited about seeing, and we also have a trip to Niagara Falls planned too, so I think we've played it right by planning to stay eight nights. 

However, one thing stood in our way from Boston to NY... The Greyhound.

I know the Greyhound bus has a bad reputation - and some of the Internet testimonials are horrifying - but the journey was actually great. Big leather seats, free wifi, and no crazies on board , which was a bonus.

Having found our hostel, we took to exploring the upper west side of manhattan, stopping to get pizza and fro yo, until we realised we had strayed into Harlem, and decided it was a good idea to turn around...

This evening we went to a few local bars with a group from the hostel, whose names I've almost entirely forgotten. We were treated to a plethora of questions about British reality tv ( notable favourites here include Britain's Got Talent, X Factor and The Voice) and a 'one dollar beer' that nobody knew the name of... However overall the evening was a success, and I think we made a fairly positive impact, to the end that tonight's event has been renamed to the British term 'pre-lash'... I'm not sure how I feel about bringing this to the States, but it's probably an indication of endearment that they've taken it on board... 

Days 4/5 - JFK museum and Samuel Adams brewery tour

Sunday seems a pretty sleepy day in Boston, so we thought we'd take advantage and head to one of the 'must see' landmarks of Massachusetts - the JFK museum and library, which is about 30 minutes outside of central Boston. Plus, we had spent the best part of an hour in the morning trying to find a coat/jumper for jack to buy (a fruitless search) and I needed to get away from the depressingly barren wasteland that is 'T.J. Maxx' (I have no idea why it's a J...)

We took the T subway to the museum, which was filled with historical inaccuracies and pro-JFK propaganda, as was to be expected (really feel like Mark Corrigan saying that). I am being facetious in fairness - it's a pretty impressive collection of all things JFK, though our morbid curiosities remained unfulfilled with the lack of anything related to the assassination on show. It was worth it too for the gift shop though, which is filled with a bizarre mix of presidential memorabilia and miniature flags of tourist countries that have very little to do with JFK himself. Though I guess it would be insensitive to include Russia and Cuba...

The rest of the evening passed with dinner and drinks, which was fun, but we came back to the hostel around 12ish and called it a night.So fast-forward to Monday...

... Where we embarked upon a tour of the Sam Adams brewery.

Joining us on the tour was a Malaysian couch surfer we met a few nights ago who, to my horror, had never tried any kind of beer at all. I demanded (within 5 minutes of knowing her) that she tried a Sam Adams light beer to start with, and she was suitably impressed to want to join the tour

A summary of the tour is as follows: we had a 10 minute presentation about the beer-making process. We went to a tasting room. We got wasted at 11am on free beer. On a Monday morning. It was brilliant, and I wish every Monday could follow this pattern.

We were them taken to the second-oldest restaurant in Boston, Doyles, by a manic shuttle driver who had clearly been drinking since, well... He probably hasn't stopped for the last 20 odd years. Additionally, every time he said 'Doyles' he did some weird fist-clenching action, and shouted it in the way a sports commentator might shout the name of a particularly menacing wrestler/boxer. It was disconcerting, but the food was great, and we got to take home new edition Sam Adams beer glasses, which was cool.

A few more beers later, we headed back to central Boston, where, like Boston's finest homeless, I fell asleep on Boston common, reeking of alcohol. An hour and a half later, and it was back to hostel and onto a Bar trivia session, with yet more beer. And then more beer. We also met some fun Canadian guys, with whom we got yet more beer.

I've just drank my first glass of water since 10am, I've had some Cheetos and I now intend to pass out.

Day 3 - Harvard

This morning we had a fairly slow start due to jack's vulnerable state post-bar crawl, but we headed to Harvard in the afternoon. Harvard turned out to be almost exactly as I anticipated, minus the snobbery of Oxford/Cambridge. The people were friendly, the grounds were like a postcard, and there was about 5-6 Starbucks in under a mile radius.

Having taken a pretty long tour of Harvard yard and the law school area, we took a quick venture to MIT, on the banks of the Charles river, but completely missed all the buildings of interest due to our very British inability to read a basic map.

A similarly laid back evening passed, until we decided to go for dinner. The original plan was to find a steak house, and having consulted an anonymous yahoo blog, we felt we had the right place.. Turns out some people have varying ideas of what constitutes 'cheap' over here.

In our desperation to avoid $30 steaks, we found an establishment aptly named 'Dicks Last Resort'. Ominous.

We were greeted by a perfectly nice 'server', who showed us to a shared bench, and the whole restaurant appeared full, which I took to be a good sign. However, as the house band began to blare music out of speakers less than a meter away from my head, I was accosted by a brashly loud middle-aged woman who, within 2 minutes, had called us pricks and manhandled my nipple. I was uncomfortable to say the least.

To prove I was not in fact a 'British pussy', as this woman would have me believe, I ordered 'chicken fry'd chicken', with a jalapeño gravy, which actually wasn't too hot. In fact it was good; what's more, the awful band had stopped and the hen party behind us had shut up. Things were looking up.

Until the hats came... So I hadn't realised that everyone in the restaurant was wearing a white paper cone-hat, with a message scrawled onto it. Or rather I noticed it, but in my horror at the surrounding events I didn't question it. Well jack and I were christened this evening at 'Dicks' - jack as the 'Harry Potter stunt double', and myself... Apparently, 'I cry after sex'.

Now I cry before bed.

Day 2 - the freedom trail

Ironically, this morning actually started with a bagel at the hostel, along with copious amounts of coffee. I also went for a blueberry muffin, but having coated the bagel with layer upon layer of peanut butter, I was faced with sating the threat of a diabetic coma...

Anyway, today we were planning on taking the freedom trail around Boston, to see the main places of interest associated with the American revolution. We embarked on a tour with the hostel, only to unanimously decide $11 for a guided tour by 'twats in bodices' (as we had christened them) was 'absurd', and we could clearly do an adequate self-guided tour for free (notwithstanding the fact we had left our guidebook at the hostel).

Joining us was a Chilean guy, whose name I'm still unsure of - we think it was 'Gustavo', but there's only a certain amount of times you can ask before it becomes rude. So we started our tour with a fairly longwinded survey of several grave yards and churches, during which the historical significance was eroded by my ever-growing desire for some cherry coke. However, we eventually reached Faneuil Hill - aka, for our purposes, the food court - where I continued the theme of gluttony with mac'n'cheese and a Starbucks (sidebar - next to Faneuil Hall, an important reference point in the Boston tea party movement, was a glass building, the side of which was adorned with life sized picture of One Direction... Seriously. One Direction World. In Boston. Next to a site of historical interest. Mike want to smash).

We made it to the end of the trail at bunker hill, via a tour of the SSS Constitution, and headed back to the hostel. It was at this point I made what I thought to be a hilarious joke - 'well that was a long road to freedom, wasn't it'. Gustavo looked blankly at me, and nothing more was said.

This evening was fun; we went on a bar crawl put on by the hostel, we met some new people whose names I've also already forgotten, and who, incidentally, I have already almost certainly alienated with George Bush/gun control/Augusto Pinochet-themed jokes.

Still, a tour of Harvard beckons tomorrow, so bring on the overbearing feeling of inadequacy.